25 May 2006

Expanding My Horizons

I will never understand art. But, in an attempt to be a more modern, sensitive man, I will at least try and actively appreciate it. With the Cannes film festival in the news, I have decided to try and expand my decidedly plebeian tastes with exposure to the artsier side of the cinema.

The film that seems to be mentioned the most is “Shortbus” – a film that uses “radical images” to “challenge the mainstream.” Sounds sufficiently artsy. So what part of the mainstream is it challenging? De-mystifying pornography by filming real on-screen sex! YES! I can get into this artsy-fartsy stuff after all!

So, to delve a little deeper, the most reported scene in the movie is the “particularly provocative scene” in which the participants in an orgy sing the “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Mmmm-kay. As the director said, ““I really believe our country specifically needs to take a look at that stuff.”

So, in the interest of expanding my horizons, and because certainly a movie director is well informed on how to help our country advance culturally, I have decided to no only take a look at that stuff, as he suggested, but to do so publicly, as he did. So here goes:

Sometimes I sing, “I Am Woman” during … wait, what do you mean that is not what he intended? Whoops, I just shared too much, didn’t I?


At 5/25/2006, Blogger bothenook said...

i think i might be able to squeek out the star spangled banner if i were to be doing the deed with either rebecca OR halle. dayam, hotties indeed.
and regarding your choice... an uncomfortable story from the usta-days.
our boat had a real live doc assigned when we went out on specific spook ops. an ENT specialist. anyway, he was an easy, obvious target. one day a shipmate asked if they could talk confidentially. "OH BOY! a live one" flashed thru the doc's brain. so off they go to the quack shack in the stern room. closing the door and running out the guys snoozing in their racks was "supposed" to give them privacy. except we were all crowded by the door listening.

"doc, all my wife wants is an*l sex"
"hmm. well, is she uncomfortable? are you using a condom?"
"No, and yes"
"so, what's the problem?"
"she just bought a new dildo, a bigger one."
"so, what's the problem?"
"i can't sit down after sex as it is, and now she wants a bigger one? what do you think the problem is?"

at which point we were caught, because nobody could keep from laughing.


At 5/25/2006, Blogger Cookie..... said...

Bothe...great...never saw that answer comin...lol....


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